


Walkman

by ILookDaftWithOneShoe



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon, Somewhat Fun, Walkman, semi-meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-13 00:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2129451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILookDaftWithOneShoe/pseuds/ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter Quill only had a few items from Earth on him when he left. One of these was his Walkman. </p><p>One of the buttons cracked and he replaced it. The words on it got rubbed off and he had them put back on. It was his, and the music he played on it was more his than anything else in the universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walkman

**Author's Note:**

> I've only seen GotG once so there may be a slight inaccuracy here or there, but I dearly hope not. In any case, this obviously contains a few spoilers for the movie.

Getting snatched from Earth by aliens is a genuinely traumatic experience.

Apparently over a million inhabitants of the USA claim to have been abducted by aliens, so they'd be the people to ask. But what species would bother picking up all those humans just to have a look has never been confirmed.

In any case, Peter Quill was only eight when it happened. All he had went he was captured by the Ravagers was his bag and everything in it.

They weren't actually particularly interested in running experiments on him. No bug eyes, no probes, and no mysterious lights shining into his eyes; just a blue-skinned guy named Yondu, who told him to keep quiet and behave or he'd be _eaten._

Such a statement easily seized the mind of a young child and Peter did as he was told.

_Ooh, child, things are gonna get easier..._

Peter listened to that song over and over in the first while he was on the Ravagers' ship. The song reminded him of his mother and the lyrics were the comfort he needed to hear and no matter how hard Yondu tried to look after Peter, the Centaurian was _not_ his mother.

_Ooh, child, things'll get brighter..._

He listened to the other songs, too, but he played that one nearly exclusively until the batteries on his walkman ran out.

And only then did he spend time with the aliens who had him. Once his mother's reassurance had burbled out and the tape was just a strip of plastic, unusable.

Eventually Yondu changed from benevolent captor to a sort of sideways father figure. The first thing Peter demanded once they were on acceptable terms were new batteries.

Initially Yondu had been taking Peter to his father, though Peter didn't know this. It wasn't that long before Yondu saw the boy as not only a good enough kid, but also a scrappy sneaky creature that could potentially make back his rewards ten times over.

The problem was, they'd been getting into closed space when this happened, and they were stopped for a random raid. A raid by official people with big guns, so running was not an option.

Yondu convinced Peter to stay hidden. A human child and a scared one would result in greater investigation.

Stuffed into a cabinet, Peter listened to music to try and drown out the pounding of his heart.

_Ain't no mountain high enough..._

He wished he was on a mountain. An Earth mountain. It would smell better and there would be room to move. And he wouldn't be so scared.

Then his batteries ran out, and he sang the songs to himself to reassure himself until Yondu retrieved him and gave him new ones.

At age ten or eleven - Peter didn't know because the Ravagers didn't run on Earth time - Peter stopped training and got taken on his first job. Ever so slightly scared, he listened to a few tough songs to make him feel like his mother was singing them with him to make him feel better when he was nervous or upset.

Most children forget a large percentage of the memories they form before they're eight. But Peter's shock caused him to cling onto everything he could possibly remember, from humid nights on the porch reading comics and drinking hot chocolate that his mother had made him, to that frog those boys had been stabbing. Wide yellow eyes. Trying to get away.

He wondered for an immature moment if he was the frog now.

_Hello, Daddy! Hello, Mom!_

The strong beat and fierce singing made him feel a whole lot better about salvaging a ship that had been shot down to retrieve some family heirloom. Not especially high risk, but one never knew.

He spent the next few years honing his skills. He got good, and along the way, finally memorised the words to every single song on his tape. And the time between songs, how long he had to fast forward or rewind to get to the one that suited his mood at that exact moment.

One of the buttons cracked and he replaced it. The words on it got rubbed off and he had them put back on. If the mechanism broke, he already had found a guy who could repair it if need be.

Twelve songs, all he had of his old life.

Except his mother's letter and present. He wasn't entirely sure why he never opened the present.

He hadn't seen his mother die, he supposed. If, by some impossible miracle and in some impossible way, she was still alive, then she'd be mad he didn't follow her instructions. Probably.

Either way it remained unopened.

At age fourteen he became one of the Ravagers' pilots, beating out a few of the other candidates to get given his own ship.

The first time he flew his own ship solo, Peter was already reaching to wind his tape to the right song for the moment.

_Goin' up to the spirit in the sky...It's where I'll go when I die..._

But the nostalgia for the home he'd known for what really wasn't a long time as a kid kicked in with the next song, and by the time he'd landed and returned to Yondu, his trusted tape had prompted him to give his ship a name: _Milano._ Because Alyssa Milano was one of the things he never, ever forgot about home. She was beautiful.

He vowed to get a tape player put into _Milano_ so he could finally listen to those songs as loud as he wanted, and not through earphones.

Being able to fly solo meant doing more jobs solo, and so after obtaining _Milano_ Peter found himself with new levels of independence.

Once he'd reached _that_ age and people of varied genders and races had begun to notice his square jaw and toned physique, the songs he played the most on his Walkman inexplicably became the songs about love. And lust. _I'm Not In Love_ featured when he'd struck out with a cute guy with stubby horns and a forked tongue and was feeling sorry for himself, while _Go All The Way_ was the one he played while taking someone out for a joyride.

Independence comes in many forms and the freedom to be out on his own doing what and who he wanted suited him well. He supposed he hadn't had a bad childhood, though he didn't have a lot to compare it to. But he still wished he'd grown up on Earth. With his mother.

So even as he grew up and discovered other music around the galaxy - though sadly none with electric guitars or synths - he kept coming back to _Awesome Mix Vol 1_. It was his home and his mother, all in plastic and fitting inside his still-functioning Walkman.

He found it easier to have fun when the beat for _Hooked On A Feeling_ was thrumming in his ears. Easier to focus on piloting when _Spirit In The Sky's_ gentle chorus was going through his head. Talking someone up became more natural when he relaxed to the song _Escape_. _Moonage Daydream_ worked best when he was having an evening to himself on board the _Milano_ or even with Yondu, who for whatever reason liked that song despite not appreciating any of the others.

And occasionally he just had to dance. _Come And Get Your Love_ and _I Want You Back_ was where he automatically wound it to when he wanted to move his feet.

Every song was linked in a Pavlovian fashion to an emotion, an action, a state of being, a state of mind. Understand his music and you understood Peter Quill.

Gamora had acted like Peter was crazy, going back for his walkman. And maybe he was. But the walkman wasn't just a hipster music-carrying device; it represented his childhood, his mother, and every sweet memory he had. It was a key piece of who he was. And he knew the words to every song on it better than he knew the galaxy itself.

When he finally opened the box to find  _Awesome Mix Vol 2_ , he couldn't help but feel like his mother and his old home were speaking to him. And he was delighted to hear their voices again.

**Author's Note:**

> Because Peter Quill's been listening to the same songs for 26 years.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
